A Mother of 3 how to Deal!!!!!

You know it is strange. Mother's are sometimes not given credit all the time for what they do. Why is that? I found for myself since I am now a mother of three all under the age of 3years what it means.  Now for me personally my mother and I do not have such a great relationship. I could write a book and create a movie about my family and all the craziness which is more than dysfunctional. I have two really close friends that know my family members and sometimes my drama is a saga.  Back to how to deal with 3 children under 3. Many mother's out there deal differently with their children because they are all different.
       My daughter Karena is 2 and going on 20 just as snotty as she wants to be. Now why is is that the first word they learn is "NO"? Some professionals would say because of  the parents always saying that word they learn that first. I do not think telling them yes to hitting their siblings is right. Trying to redirect them to a more productive activity seems to be a task as well. How do I truly deal with them? Karena I just make sure she is not being mean to her younger brother DeVante who is 1. Watching them devise little baby plans to do bad things is so funny sometimes. The best I try to deal is laughter!!!! Without it all hope and sanity is completely lost. Oh and my youngest is Anisha and she will be 4 months on the 27th of January.
            I know my parents did the best they could but, with such a strained relationship it is hard to communicate anymore. The best way to deal just laugh it is so much better than crying!!!!!!